Nadia has been given the reports from both visitations. They are much more detailed than previous reports. (Only a few changes in punctuation have been make.)
Visitation report Visitation between: Mother Nadia and Caspian
Date: Thursday, August 11, 2016
The mother came 10 minutes before and got the key to the apartment. We made an agreement that I would come in when the guardian (Barnevernet worker) came with Caspian. His grandma has become ill and will not be attending today. Y (Nadia’s friend and witness) has taken her place instead. Caspian arrives on time and I make an agreement with the guardian that he/she will stay with them until I come back (I was in a conversation over the phone).
At 10:15 the mother takes out a yoghurt that she will give to Caspian. She washes her hands, picks up Caspian at the same time as she finds the yoghurt(smoothie). “Oh how delicious!” she says as she feeds Caspian with a teaspoon. Caspian waves his hands in excitement and obviously enjoys the food. He stops and turns around to look at me as I sit on the opposite side of the table. The mother talks to him, and he shows he clearly enjoys the food he got. Caspian stop as he hears a bird. “What was that?” says the mother. “Do you hear a bird out there? I think maybe it is a crow.”
The mother says, “If I knew you where this hungry than I would have checked if you had a sandwich with you.” Y gets up to find the food Caspian had with him from the short term care home/stand by foster home. U.t. (the supervisor) gets up to make coffee and Caspian looks for me. The mother is wondering if Caspian is full and lays him down on the floor again. She sits down beside him and lets him explore on his own.
He crawls to the toy box with the big rubber puzzle game and the mother holds him so he can pick up a piece of puzzle from the box. Caspian gets up from the crawling. “Oy” says the mother. Caspian talks and gargles. He looks at his mother and crawls around her as he at the same time tries to get up in between. The mother sings “An elephant came marching…” while she solves the puzzle game (that becomes a big rubber mat). Caspian stops as he looks at his mom singing. Caspian gets to pick up the puzzle pieces as his mom keeps on assemble them.
Caspian makes happy sounds. The mother continues to sing as she tickles him. and Caspian laughs. She lifts him on to her lap and they study the toy box together. Caspian finds a blue balloon and his mom sings “I want a blue balloon…” Y’s phone rings and Caspian stops and look at him. Caspian crawls to a couple of playhouses and the mother follows. She says that she thinks she doesn’t know a song about horses. Y suggest’s “Fola fola blakken”, but than Caspian is busy with the train.
Mom sings “Nede på stasjonen/Down at the station…” Caspian crawls unto his mother’s lap. Mom drives the train around and Caspian watches. He looks at mom and smiles. He coughs a bit and his mom says “Maybe we should find some water?”. Y finds the bottle he brought and gives it to the mother. “How lucky we are to have a secretary with us to give us what we need”. Mom puts Caspian onto her lap and gives him a little water before Caspian wants to get down and crawl some more. He crawls onto his mother’s lap and wants her to lift him up. He makes a lot of sounds. Mom sings to him and Caspian hums with on his own.
Caspian crawls uneasy on the floor while babbling. He whines a little. Mom strokes him on the head and says “What a little charmer you are.” Mom wonders if she should find another yoghurt.” “You didn’t eat a lot,” she says. They get seated again and mom gives him more yoghurt. Caspian eats willingly and waves his arms. “Do you know what we talked about in the court case? What a nice and happy boy you are! That we all agree about.” “And still they say that he is uneven developed,” Y says. Caspian makes loud noises, smiles and looks at mom. Mom makes the same noises, he looks at her and smiles before he makes the same noises again. They talk like that for a while and Caspian laughs.
In between, Caspian bends forward, grabs his foot and tries to put it in his mouth. All of a sudden mom yells, there is a wasp buzzing around them. Y chases it out the window. Mom brings Caspian down with her on the floor and says she got good energy out of being around him today. Caspian crawls over to Y and Y takes his hands and picks him up and lets him play riding horse on his foot. He brings him onto his lap and Caspian grabs after his phone in his pocket. Y lets him hold it as he sits calmly on his lap. Caspian studies Y’s face and smiles at him. He tries to take Y’s glasses and Y says “No, these I want to keep in peace”. He puts Caspian down on the floor to his mom and mom puts on fake glasses. They continue to puzzle. Mom sings, “Maybe we should change the diaper soon?”
Mom takes him with her to the bathroom to change the diaper. She comes out into the living room with him in only the diaper and sits down on the sofa with him. Caspian sits pleased in his mother’s lap while she plays with his naked feet before she starts to dress him in the rest of the clothes. Caspian looks pleased and starts to hum. They get down on the floor again. Caspian crawls under the table and to U.t.(the supervisor). He grabs after the toes to look at them (they have got nail polish on). Mom grabs him from under the table to pick him up.
Y says if he is going to eat the banana then… Mom carries him to Y. Y makes Donald noises and both see that Caspian is getting tired. Y’s phone rings and he walks out in to the hallway to talk. Mom carries him around on the floor while she lulls him. Caspian is quiet. Mom lays Caspian on the floor while she finds a dish and the banana. She addresses him while she mooshes the banana. Caspian whines. “Yes”… says mom compassionately.” Mom will hurry up..” and they get seated at the table again. Caspian waves his arms impatient. Mom sneezes and Caspian stops and looks at mom to than move his glance at the food again. Caspian starts to get uneasy on the lap. Mom gives him some banana and bread. They then finish the meal. Mom looks for the pacifier and finds it. She rinses it and gives it to Caspian. Mom walks with him in her arms and sings to him. Caspian sucks the pacifier calmly without a sound. Y takes pictures and Caspian looks at him seriously.
Ending: I tell them when it is 10 minutes left and mom continues to walk around with him. It is a calm and quiet atmosphere. I say that the doorbell might frighten him when the guardian arrives. Y offers to go out and look for Caspian’s guardian (Barnevernet worker). He goes down to open the door for her. Caspian is sleeping in his mother’s arms right before the guardian arrives. Mom continues to sing with him in her arms while she tidies the table after them. Y helps. She asks if he can check if there is something forgotten in the bathroom. Caspian’s guardian (Barnevernet worker) helps the mother to dress him while he sleeps. Mom has him sitting on the lap. She struggles a bit with getting the jacket on Caspian while he is sleeping on the lap. The guardian offers to put him on the thrust/puff but mom says she wants to do it like that.
Evaluation: A nice and maybe less hectic visitation. Even if Caspian is more active than usual. Mom follows Caspian and both are active on the floor. Caspian tries to get up several times and he “talks” right from the start this time. Mom sings to him and tries to find songs that matches the toys he find. Mom is calm in the voice and has full focus on Caspian through the whole visitation with an exception of when the wasp entered the room suddenly. Caspian is observant and catches all movement and sounds in the room. It seems as if he enjoys that mom responds when he makes sounds. No drug use suspected.
Mother and grandmother arrive 10 minutes before and I let them into the apartment. After I have greeted the grandmother, I inform her a little about my role. Caspian arrives with the guardian 5 minutes before and I help them in and up into the apartment. The mother stands ready in the door of the apartment and the grandmother a little in the background.
Caspian smiles at his mom and mom receives him in her arms. I couldn’t quite observe if he reached for mom with his arms cause I was standing behind the guardian. Caspian is in his mother’s arms when she says “You know grandmother?” Grandmother thinks he doesn’t recognize her. “They remember better than you think” says mom. Mom is wondering where they are on the sleeping and eating schedule. He ate when he woke up earlier (a little past 7:00 am?) and she doesn’t think he has had food after that.
Grandmother bought a wooden train for Caspian that they have packed beforehand. Grandmother sits on the sofa and Mom and Caspian on the floor. Caspian crawls around and climbs onto mom’s lap. Grandmother eventually moves down to the floor and participates in the game for a while. Caspian tries to get up and Nadia says “See? He’s getting up!”
Mom begins to prepare food and grandmother sits a bit on the floor with Caspian. He plays with a pan set sitting on the floor and grandmother gets seated back on the puff. “Look how nice he sits” says mom to grandmother. Caspian plays and seems fascinated over the sound the pan makes when it hits the floor in the pretendkitchen/playkitchen. He looks at his mom and smiles at her. Grandmother makes sounds and he turns around to look at her. Mom gets seated with Caspian on the lap. She invites grandmother to sit opposite them on a chair so she can watch them.
Caspian waves his arms eagerly when he sees the food. He sits calmly and eats and looks upon mom and smiles. He reaches and grabs for his mom’s mouth and hair. Grandmother and mother make small talk and Caspian starts to twist a little on the lap. “What is it sweety? Are you tired already?” Mom gives him water from her bottle because she can’t find the cup he usually brings during visitation. They end the meal and mom puts him back on the floor.
Caspian plays a little while mom sits quietly next to him. He crawls towards his mother and onto her lap. He sits on her lap while playing with the pan. Caspian crawls towards the toys he knows next to the shelf and finds the horses. Mom asks grandmother if she remembers the song “Fola fola blakken”. Grandmother is not sure. U.t (the observer) finds the song on YouTube and offers to play the song for the grandmother. Mom brings Caspian onto her lap and watches the song and tries to sing with.
Mom comments “Are you tired already but surely we will play more on the floor first?” Caspian plays with the rubber puzzle game while mom and grandmother sits quietly and watch. Grandmother asks about the case/court case and mom explains. After a while grandmother lifts Caspian onto her lap. He grabs for her glasses she rocked him on her lap. Caspian laughs while she blows onto his neck. He “talks” with grandmother and plays with her glasses. She lets him, and he sits quiet for a bit on her lap. Mom leaves the room to make a phone call, and Caspian whines a bit.
Grandmother asks if he can hear her voice and they go out in the hallway so he can see the mother. Caspian tries to crawl to his mother. They come back to the living room again and mom says it’s not in her means to use the time on this but it is important and about changing her flight ticket. Grandmother says that he almost started to cry after mom when she left the room. “That was good to hear.” says mom. They get seated on the floor again. Caspian seems a little indisposed and mom lifts him up and cuddles him. They get back down again onto the floor. Mom crawls out to the hallway and Caspian crawls after in full speed.
Caspian and mom sit on the floor and Caspian crawls towards his grandmother and rises himself up by the puff. “Do you want to come here?” asks grandmother. She gently lifts him up onto her lap. After a while he gets uneasy and starts to whine. Grandmother gives him to the mother and she gives him the pacifier and walks on the floor while humming for him. He calms down and Caspian falls asleep like this.
Mom lays down on the sofa with Caspian sleeping on her chest. Mom takes a picture and Caspian lifts his head but gets down again on mom’s chest. Y arrives 11.30 and grandmother gets ready to leave. She cries as she says goodbye to the mother and it might look as the mother cries too. The mother looks at me and smiles. Y gets seated in a chair after taking some photographs of the mother and Caspian on the sofa. The mother lies with her eyes closed and it seems like she also falls asleep in the end. After an hour the mother asks how long he has been asleep. She tries to wake him up, he opens his eyes than fall asleep again. Mom lies quiet as she takes selfies of her and Caspian.
Mom tries to pry her way out of the sofa. She looks at me and says she wants to wake him up. Caspian opens his eyes looks upon his mother and smiles and falls back into sleep. She sees and smiles at him too. The mother and Caspian sits in the sofa until Caspian is fully awake. Than the mother delivers Caspian to Y and find’s the equipment to change the diaper. Y receives him and Caspian get’s a blueberry smoothie that he hold’s in his hands while they go to the bathroom. Caspian lay’s calmly on the changing mat and “babbles” while he moves the blueberry smoothie from one hand into the other. He says “ma-ma” and “røø.”
The mother comes into the living room, sits down on the sofa and gives Caspian the smoothie. The mother and Y discusses the case.
I inform them that it is 10 minutes left. “Oh no, oh no” says the mother. “Maybe we’ll get time to eat some other food then?” The mother finds a yoghurt she wants to give, too. She says that the sandwiches he has with him where a little dry. Caspian looks for the food and grabs for the lunchbox. Mom tastes the sandwiches and says she didn’t like them. She wonders if she should try to give him the dinner food she bought but Y says she doesn’t have time for that. The mother says its bad if he leaves her hungry. Y thinks he will withstand it. The mother gives him a fruit yoghurt.
Caspian’s guardian (Barnevernet personnel) arrives 5 minutes earlier and apologizes that she is a little bit early. The mother says that you came 5 minutes earlier when dropping him off and 5 minutes earlier to fetch him. Then I am getting the 10 minutes back. Caspian is obviously more hungry and mom gives him the sandwiches he brought. Y comments that he now has his mouth full. The mother stands up with Caspian in her arms and we agree on another time around next week. Caspian babbles and is with good spirit. The mother dresses Caspian while sitting on the sofa.
A nice and calm visitation. Mom lets him take charge and follows on his initiative. Caspian is active and seems to like it on the floor. He looks for mom while playing and crawls to her lap in between. In the first part of the visitation where grandmother is with the mother takes charge with a calm behavior and voice. Grandmother keeps in the background and lets her steer her. It seems like mother and grandmother have a good tone in between each other. Caspian slept for one hour and 15 minutes during the visitation.
On Monday, after a lengthy hearing (9 1/2 hours), Nadia was informed that she will “not get an answer before the 17th of August” which is next Wednesday.
Nadia previously understood that if she received a favorable conclusion to Monday’s hearing, she would be able to have custody of Caspian until The County Council for Child Welfare and Social Affairs (Fylkesnemnda) hearing on August 24-26.
The Fylkesnemnda, scheduled for less than two weeks from today in Bergen, will determine the fate of Caspian’s future with Nadia.
Nadia has visitation scheduled for Thursday and Friday, August 18th and 19th.
I wanted anyone interested in the case to know that Nadia was allowed visitation this week after Monday’s court hearing. She apparently has visitations scheduled for next Thursday and Friday, also. The reports and pictures reveal that the visits have gone very well.
“Miss him every day. He is the first thing I think of when I wake up and the last when I’m going to bed.”
“We had such a fantastic time together today.. At the end of the visit he was tired, and I was carrying him around and singing him to sleep so he was sleeping in my arms.. It was wonderful.”
These comments along with the pictures illustrate Nadia’s feelings towards her child. She naturally misses the son that God has given her to raise. Caspian must miss her, too, looking at the way he snuggles up to her in these pictures.
I did ask Nadia about how the word “hectic” was used in Thursday’s report. I thought all of the pictures seemed calm and nice. I explained to Nadia that in English “The word hectic means to do things in a very fast way that may be very unorganized.” Nadia replied, “I don’t think it was hectic and I don’t think Caspian did either.”
I think the visitation observers did a good job. I have been a visitation observer myself and I have had to make notes about visitations. I appreciate that a general evaluation is included at the end.
There is something that puzzles me. Nadia had court on Monday (8th), visitation on Thursday (11th) and Friday (12th), and she is supposed to have visitation this coming Thursday(18th) and Friday (19th). This coming Friday is the 19th and the important court dates of the 24th-26th are only five days later.
Will Nadia have a chance at custody before the important court date on August 24-26th? Monday’s 9 1/2 hour hearing was supposed to be about custody before the important court date. So, either Nadia will get very little custody before the 24th-26th, or no custody, or there is the possibility that the CPS representative who picked up Caspian at Friday’s visitation didn’t coordinate with the CPS office. In any case, a mother who has been through very stressful events throughout the life of her young child is wondering once again.
As I have mentioned before, there is no apparent good reason for this child to be kept from its mother. Nothing has changed for me to come to any different conclusion. Hopefully, there will be a good decision regarding this family soon.